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  • #16
    Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

    Caught some error,
    Plague Bearer Vargouille - pdf page 221
    Plague bearer vargouilles are often used by those evil creatures that witch to quickly spread disease. They gleefully bite other creatures and flap away, leaving the diseases to do their worst.
    I think 'witch' should be 'wants'?

    Draconix of Dawn - pdg page 23
    The blue text box for the creatures special abilities is too small for its contents. The last line is being cut through by the text box.

    And a comment,
    Personally i'm not a fan of the text for the sample creatures. I was wondering if anyone else has an issue with it? I'd be content with changing them to any of the other fonts in the book, but that one is just not easy for me to read.
    Last edited by cman0; 08-12-2014, 12:27 PM.

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

      A random sampling of nitpicks that I happened to stumble across:


      Page 150 Force Creature:

      Force is an eldritch power that sages have likened it to raw magic
      should read:

      Force is an eldritch power that sages have likened to raw magic
      Page 154 Fortune-spurned Horse:

      The red box is the wrong size.

      Page 159 Giantblood and the Oni:

      Since the giantblood template is due to the results of physical copulation an oni, such as the fire yai, do not necessarily pass on its qualities to its offspring.
      Did you mean this?

      Since the giantblood template is due to the results of physical copulation, an oni such as the fire yai does not necessarily pass on its qualities to its offspring.
      Flash of brutality:

      a burst of savage of inspiration.
      should read:

      a burst of savage inspiration.
      Sample giantblood:

      This large white-furred ape was four arms and two heads filled with yellow teeth.
      should read:

      This large white-furred ape has four arms and two heads filled with yellow teeth.
      Page 191 Lifespark Construct

      Creating an lifespark construct
      should read:

      creating a lifespark construct
      Page 203 Mist Creature

      creating an mist creature
      should read:

      creating a mist creature
      Page 210 Plys Ironroot

      a territory he know sees as for his use alone.
      should read:

      a territory he now sees as for his use alone.
      Page 216 Ofuda

      An ofuda has little substance receives only one-half the normal hit points per Hit Die.
      should read:

      An ofuda has little substance and receives only one-half the normal hit points per Hit Die.

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

        Page 26 table 2-6: Angelic Vessel Abilities. The coloring is off. the 1/day and 1/week abilities for the Planetar are in a light color all by themselves, they should be in the darker color, and the Solar angel should then be in the lighter section.

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

          There is one more thing I need to comment on. And its something that was brought over from the d20 book.

          In the Bipedal creature template entry, you have a sidebar which explains uses for the bipedal template, including making the creature ready for Lycanthrope, Quadrupedal, or giantblood templates.

          The Quadrupedal template.

          The template that takes a two legged creature and makes it four legged.

          My question is who would eve be so template indulgent as to take a four legged monster, put a template on it to make it two legged...and than another template that makes it four legged again.

          I mean I think that just reaches full template inception at that point.
          [URL="http://crinos.dreamwidth.org/"]Urge to Stat Rising[/URL]: My blog where I post write ups for monsters for the Pathfinder system.

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

            Here are my findings (I am not a native speaker; I may be wrong on some ;-) ):

            page 5, left column, 2nd paragraph:
            Code:
            - if the base creature doesn’t not possess darkvision
            + if the base creature does not possess darkvision
            page 5, right column in the middle; Subtype Energy
            Code:
            - These are cold, and fire.
            + These are cold and fire.
            page 6, left column, 2nd paragraph (about aquired templates):
            Code:
            - or even a curse that the creature has be blessed or cursed with
            + or even a curse that the creature has been blessed or cursed with
            page 6, left column, 5th paragraph
            Code:
            - Inherited template even apply to monsters
            + Inherited templates even apply to monsters
            page 6, left column, 7th paragraph
            Code:
            - Some acquired templates can total change a creature’s type
            + Some acquired templates can totally change a creature’s type
            page 6, right column, 2nd paragraph (Challenge Rating)
            Code:
            - If not listed the, the template
            + If not listed the template
            page 7, left column, 6th paragraph (Defensive Abilities)
            Code:
            - Modifications to the base creature’s defenses including includes those due to changes in type and subtype
            + Modifications to the base creature’s defenses including those due to changes in type and subtype
            Edit 1: I think the font used in the statistic blocks (Florence Sans, if I see it correctly) for sample creature is hard to read. Especially the letters 't' and 'f' break the line of reading (reading fluency?); they seem to be set too low in the line of text... Any chance to change that font?
            Last edited by Crunan; 08-13-2014, 02:47 PM.

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

              Is the Lawbound template really supposed to grant damage reduction that can be bypassed by law? Normally such damage reductions are bypassed by the alignment opposing that of the creature (in this case chaotic).

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                This is probably too late to affect the print copy, so it may have to serve as a first installment of my "Errata & Notes" page for the book.

                pp. 133-137, Eldritch: In the first paragraph, insert "the" before "Material Plane".
                Under Amorphous Body, insert "that" after "damage such as".
                Under Armor Class (natural), "Gains" should be "The eldritch gains".
                Under Bleed, does this ability apply to all natural attacks, or just one?

                [BTW, as a long-time Lovecraft fan this is probably my favorite new template in this book. It will definitely see use in my Freeport campaign!]

                pp. 142-144, Eye King: Under the Central Eye Beam special attack, "emanation of a" should be "emanation that a".
                Under the Eye Rays special attack, "Appendix 3" should be "Appendix A".

                pp. 230-232, Prismatic: Under Spell-Like Abilities, the second 3 in "Table 2-33" should also be bold.

                pp. 275-276, Swarmblooded: Under the Swarm Bleed special attack, the 0 in "Table 2-40" should be bold.

                p. 298, Empower Undead: "10gp" should be "10 gp".

                p. 298, Undead Plants: "but is otherwise hollow" should be "but are otherwise hollow" (the antecedent is skeletons, not plant).
                Tim Emrick, Freebooter, Keeper of the Freeport Errata
                Winds of Freeport: my Pathfinder Freeport campaign (2014-2016).
                Time of the Tarrasque: my next Pathfinder campaign (under development).
                Studded Plate: my blog about RPGs, LEGO, and other geeky subjects.
                Thastygliax's Vault: my other gaming pages.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                  Originally posted by LittlePenDragon View Post
                  Is the Lawbound template really supposed to grant damage reduction that can be bypassed by law? Normally such damage reductions are bypassed by the alignment opposing that of the creature (in this case chaotic).
                  Yes, LittlePenDragon. It was designed so that only the weapons of law can "bring down" the law. It goes with its flavor of a lawbound imposing its will on the world around it. Only a similar imposing force should be able to counter it.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                    Originally posted by frumple View Post
                    This was from one of the other designers. At first I was WTF, but then I thought this could be fun to flesh out different animals in a world.
                    As the mom of that template (which, as I can see, has been rebaptized), I feel flattered to be reviewed and amused by the WTF. That was a normal way of "creating monsters" in old times (see so many Egyptian gods, Greek critters, and the famous Bucephalos [bull-headed horse] of Alexander the Great...)
                    But my reason for writing that was very simple. My last baby was born in the Water Serpent Year... And when he grows and becomes a cavalier, he will need a very special mount to ride! ^_^

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                      Page 62, the Table states "CREATURE SWAM MODIFIERS" -- I'm fairly certain that it's supposed to be "SWARM".

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                        pp. 55-57, Clockwork: Table 2-11 should be moved to the end of the Defensive Abilities text, not the beginning. Also, "Table 2-11" in the main text should be all in bold. Under Creator Bond, the comma between "Bluff" and Diplomacy" should be an "and". In the last paragraph under Construction, move "are needed" to just before the colon. In the first paragraph on p. 57, "plane" should be capitalized.

                        pp. 191-193, Lifespark Construct: In the stat block, the last paragraph of Immunity to Magic is indented too far.
                        [Another poster has already noted that "Creating an Lifespark Creature" should be "Creating a Lifespark Creature".]

                        pp. 285-288, Transforming Construct: Under Senses, delete the "+". Under Speed, in the Flyer bullet point, delete the last sentence: The fler form is only available to base creatures without a fly speed. In the Digger bullet point immediately following, "burrows tunnel" should be "burrows, the tunnel". Under Alternate Form, delete the "in" after "hit points". The last sentence before the stat blocks is missing a period.

                        pp. 295-296, War Machine: Under Construction, delete "twice" from the Price; the 1,200 gp x CR Cost has already been doubled here.

                        (Yes, I've been researching constructs, does it show?)
                        Tim Emrick, Freebooter, Keeper of the Freeport Errata
                        Winds of Freeport: my Pathfinder Freeport campaign (2014-2016).
                        Time of the Tarrasque: my next Pathfinder campaign (under development).
                        Studded Plate: my blog about RPGs, LEGO, and other geeky subjects.
                        Thastygliax's Vault: my other gaming pages.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                          I'm late to the party on this one but there's no trumpet archon listed in the Archon Graced template.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                            Question about the Eye King: Magical effects from eye rays and the central eye beam are limited to spell levels that a sorcerer or cleric of a level equal to the eye king's racial HD could cast. Is the maximum spell level also limited by the eye king's Charisma, in the same way a sorcerer's would be?

                            An example: An eye king tyrannosaurus has 18 racial HD and Cha 14 after the template adjustment. Is it limited to 9th level spells (available to an 18th-level sorcerer or cleric) or to 4th level spells (key ability of 14)?
                            Tim Emrick, Freebooter, Keeper of the Freeport Errata
                            Winds of Freeport: my Pathfinder Freeport campaign (2014-2016).
                            Time of the Tarrasque: my next Pathfinder campaign (under development).
                            Studded Plate: my blog about RPGs, LEGO, and other geeky subjects.
                            Thastygliax's Vault: my other gaming pages.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                              Originally posted by timemrick View Post
                              Question about the Eye King: Magical effects from eye rays and the central eye beam are limited to spell levels that a sorcerer or cleric of a level equal to the eye king's racial HD could cast. Is the maximum spell level also limited by the eye king's Charisma, in the same way a sorcerer's would be?

                              An example: An eye king tyrannosaurus has 18 racial HD and Cha 14 after the template adjustment. Is it limited to 9th level spells (available to an 18th-level sorcerer or cleric) or to 4th level spells (key ability of 14)?

                              It casts spells as a 18th level Sorcerer, so it could get 9th level spells. However, it would only get at most 2 of them since you need to "buy-up" to the 9th level, i.e. you need to have 1 1st-8th level spell to get 1 9th level spell, 2 1st-8th for 2 9th, etc. However, since it uses Cha for those spells, their DCs will be lower than usual.

                              Of course, the Powerful Eye Ray feat is an exception to this, but you would need to take this feat multiple times to get multiple spells.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                                Originally posted by Moonsword View Post
                                I'm late to the party on this one but there's no trumpet archon listed in the Archon Graced template.
                                Ack! you are right. Something for the errata...

                                Comment

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