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  • Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

    Backers are getting a preliminary PDF of the Advanced Bestiary today (August 11). We will be sending the book to print next week. If you spot something you think might be an error, please post about it here. We will be finalizing the book when we are back from GenCon.

    Thanks!
    Chris Pramas
    President
    Green Ronin Publishing

  • #2
    Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

    Just skimmed it, I will give more detailed feedback later. Some initial thoughts:

    *The full color artwork looks amazing, very well done. Its nice seeing all the old template monsters back with new art.

    *I notice you didn't include the templates which had already been done by Paizo in their bestiaries: The Broken Soul, Nightmare Creature and Divine Guardian are all absent. Just as well, saves space for more new stuff.

    *I like all the new templates, although I haven't really read them all in depth yet, there look to be a lot of potential stuff here.

    *You actually kept in the Eye King from the web supplements for the d20 book. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me.

    *I also noticed you renamed the Lunatic creature to the Selenic Creature. That seems like a good move, since the name Lunatic creature suggested something entirely different from what it actually is.

    Overall I am glad to have this. It was very much worth the wait.
    [URL="http://crinos.dreamwidth.org/"]Urge to Stat Rising[/URL]: My blog where I post write ups for monsters for the Pathfinder system.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

      First: the cover is dope. Super excited to get my physical copy!

      I'm just scanning it, but I checked out the Inveigler and I had a question: it calls out true seeing as something blocked by this ability, but true seeing doesn't have anything to do with alignment or aura detection.

      I figured I would mention it in case either a: I missed something or b: this was unintentional or c: this was part of an earlier draft when the ability masked illusions or changing shape of the Inveigler or something.

      Cheers on an awesome book! Can't wait to torture my PCs with it, huehuehuehueh

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

        The book is amazing. So many things to use and the artwork is awesome!

        However, one little thing before I go to bed (1:35 am here): The flavor text for the example creature for the "Metal-Clad Creature" on page 200 says "This broad, muscled human has short tusks, angry features, thick brow, and black hair." I guess it should be "humanoid" instead of "human" since it's a steel-clad orc.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

          Here is some more in depth critique:

          * I noticed that a lot of the elemental templates (Like Muck, Mist, and so forth) have been changed so that instead of needing a certain subtype, any one can take it unless they have a certain subtype. Which I like a lot since it really opens up the options.

          *The Angelic Vessel Template reminds me of how Angels work in Supernatural. I approve. I am already thinking up ideas of a Angelic Vessel NPC in Razmiran.

          *Thank you, THANK YOU for the Augmented creature template. Now I can create cyborg monsters. Before this we only had the half golem from 3.5 and the metal clad template (Which is what Paizo was using for cyborgs before this).

          *Consuming creature is a neat concept. Personally, I really wanted a template that allows a creature to turn other creatures into its own kind or similar creatures. But I suppose I should have donated more to get the reward where I design my own creature.

          *Daemon Host is neat, as are the various good Outsider related templates, and the Qlippoth template. I'm personally would have liked to see templates dedicated to the other evil Outsiders (Asuras, Div, Kytons, although Oni kinda get one).

          *Dunesage is a neat concept. May have to use one in an Osirion game one day.

          *The Eldritch template: The second coming of the Pseudonatural template. But why did you use a Black Pudding as the sample creature? It doesn't really illustrate how eldritch the template can make a creature.

          *Instrument of the Gods. This reminds me I really need to pick up the mythic rules at some point. Probably wont ever use them but I'd like to have them. Also, Is this the monster from the cover?

          *Jotunblood: I really appreciate you took the time to add special powers for all the new giants from the past four bestiaries.

          *Lawbound: Looks like a nice counterpoint to the chaosborn. I really like the alignment shifting effect.

          *Limbjack: Speaking of the second coming of the Half Golems. I really like that, unlike the WOTC Half Golem template, this one doesn't affect intelligence scores. Something that made the Half Golem Template pretty much useless for what I wanted to use it for. So now I have one less reason to crack open the MM2.

          *I like the Manimal picture of the Triceratops eating pumpkins.

          *The Moss Lich is a pretty interesting concept for a druidic lich.

          *Ofuda creature: This is awesome. I love it.

          *The Positive energy charged creature is also an interesting concept.

          *The Swarmblooded is another awesome creature concept I feel I will get a lot of mileage out of when I start running Pathfinder.

          *The Monsterheaded template is pretty cool as well. Actually when I was doing a lets read of the Al Qadim monstroud compendium, I suggested a Yuan Ti created camel/snake hybrid. Now we have the template to make this.

          *Thronefused. That's a weird template.

          *There are also plenty of new feats spells and other things: Feats that let you use Summon Monster to make Ofuda, Eye King related feats that let you make Beholder Mages, and more.

          Overall, I really like this book. Thank for remaking it. I am very proud to have been part of this.
          [URL="http://crinos.dreamwidth.org/"]Urge to Stat Rising[/URL]: My blog where I post write ups for monsters for the Pathfinder system.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

            Hey folks,

            The designer of the new Advanced Bestiary here. Hope you enjoy the book as much as I did in writing it.

            Jeff

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

              I know I am. This was my very first kickstarter and I am glad I was able to be part of it.

              Also: What is up with the Thronefused template? That is one weird template. I like it, but its weird.
              [URL="http://crinos.dreamwidth.org/"]Urge to Stat Rising[/URL]: My blog where I post write ups for monsters for the Pathfinder system.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                I quickly read through the start of the book, but here are my recommendations of things that I've identified so far that you might want to fix.

                First sentence of second paragraph in the "INTRODUCTION" is missing the word "a" between the words "be" and "fun".

                Last sentence of the second paragraph in the "INTRODUCTION" is missing the word "is" between the words "it" and "just".

                Second sentence of the third paragraph in the "INTRODUCTION" is missing the word "a" between the word "having" and "demon".

                The last sentence of the last paragraph in the "BONUSES AND PENALTIES" could stand some clarity. Particularly the double negative confusion in the sentence.

                Second sentence of the first paragraph in the "TEMPLATE MODIFICATION NAME" is missing the word "of" between the words "section" and "the". Additionally, a space appears to be missing at the end of this sentence.

                Last sentence of the first paragraph in the "TEMPLATE MODIFICATION NAME" could stand some clarity.

                Second sentence of the second paragraph in the "TEMPLATE TYPE", the first appearance of the word "template" should probably be pluralized. Additionally, shouldn't the phrase "...be blessed..." actually be "...been blessed..." in this sentence?

                Last sentence of the second paragraph in the "TEMPLATE TYPE", the parenthetical portion of the sentence appears to be missing a word, though I am uncertain if it should be "which" or "that".

                First sentence of the fifth paragraph in the "TEMPLATE TYPE", the first appearance of the word "template" should probably be pluralized.

                Last sentence of the fifth paragraph in the "TEMPLATE TYPE" reads poorly and could probably stand to be clarified.

                Last sentence of the only paragraph in the "CHALLENGE RATING" doubles the word "the" and separates them with a comma.

                Only sentence of the only paragraph in the "DEFENSIVE ABILITIES/DR/IMMUNE/RESIST/SR" follows the word "including" with the word "includes".

                Second sentence in the second paragraph in the "REPLACED TEMPLATES" there is an unnecessary repetition of the words "of the".

                Time for me to go to bed now, so I'll read more tomorrow and post anything else that I find. My impression so far is "This is going to be one of my favorite books!"

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                  Hi Crinos. Thanks for the critique!

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  Here is some more in depth critique:

                  * I noticed that a lot of the elemental templates (Like Muck, Mist, and so forth) have been changed so that instead of needing a certain subtype, any one can take it unless they have a certain subtype. Which I like a lot since it really opens up the options.
                  That is exactly my intent when I tweaked these templates.

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *The Angelic Vessel Template reminds me of how Angels work in Supernatural. I approve. I am already thinking up ideas of a Angelic Vessel NPC in Razmiran.
                  Funny you say that. That was my inspiration.

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *Thank you, THANK YOU for the Augmented creature template. Now I can create cyborg monsters. Before this we only had the half golem from 3.5 and the metal clad template (Which is what Paizo was using for cyborgs before this).
                  You are welcome. I personally love mixing my sci-fi and fantasy. I was never happy with previous attempts in the game at achieving this, so I gave it a shot.

                  [QUOTE=Crinos;26969]
                  *Consuming creature is a neat concept. Personally, I really wanted a template that allows a creature to turn other creatures into its own kind or similar creatures. But I suppose I should have donated more to get the reward where I design my own creature. [\QUOTE]

                  I think you could achieve that with the monstrous lycanthrope template. Just make gaining the abilities a gradual process.

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *Daemon Host is neat, as are the various good Outsider related templates, and the Qlippoth template. I'm personally would have liked to see templates dedicated to the other evil Outsiders (Asuras, Div, Kytons, although Oni kinda get one).
                  As would I, but there is only so much room.

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *Dunesage is a neat concept. May have to use one in an Osirion game one day.
                  This was from one of the other designers. Somehow I can see dunesages as oracles in the depth of Thuivia.

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *The Eldritch template: The second coming of the Pseudonatural template. But why did you use a Black Pudding as the sample creature? It doesn't really illustrate how eldritch the template can make a creature.
                  I liked the idea of a piece of the void itself coming down and causing havok. I guess there are other choices I could have made. *shrug*

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *Instrument of the Gods. This reminds me I really need to pick up the mythic rules at some point. Probably wont ever use them but I'd like to have them. Also, Is this the monster from the cover?
                  Yes. Yes it is.

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *Jotunblood: I really appreciate you took the time to add special powers for all the new giants from the past four bestiaries.
                  I never realized how many giants there are in Pathfinder. Good thing I limited myself to just the four bestiaries.

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *Lawbound: Looks like a nice counterpoint to the chaosborn. I really like the alignment shifting effect.
                  I wanted to be the lawbound something Vorlon (from B5) like in their attitude. "Do what you are told!"

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *Limbjack: Speaking of the second coming of the Half Golems. I really like that, unlike the WOTC Half Golem template, this one doesn't affect intelligence scores. Something that made the Half Golem Template pretty much useless for what I wanted to use it for. So now I have one less reason to crack open the MM2.
                  I can''t help but thing of the Sligs from Oddworld whenever this template is brought up. :/

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *I like the Manimal picture of the Triceratops eating pumpkins.
                  One of my favorites as well. He looks like a jerk, which just makes me laugh.

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *The Moss Lich is a pretty interesting concept for a druidic lich.
                  My players really weren't expecting this one when I hit them with it.

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *Ofuda creature: This is awesome. I love it.
                  Who doesn't like origami?

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *The Positive energy charged creature is also an interesting concept.
                  This is one of my favorites.

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *The Swarmblooded is another awesome creature concept I feel I will get a lot of mileage out of when I start running Pathfinder.
                  The swarmblooded is just nasty.

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *The Monsterheaded template is pretty cool as well. Actually when I was doing a lets read of the Al Qadim monstroud compendium, I suggested a Yuan Ti created camel/snake hybrid. Now we have the template to make this.
                  This was from one of the other designers. At first I was WTF, but then I thought this could be fun to flesh out different animals in a world.

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *Thronefused. That's a weird template.
                  Another one from one of the other designers. Yeah this one is full of strange. I can see combining it with the Augmented to make a creature in a portable weapons platform.

                  Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                  *There are also plenty of new feats spells and other things: Feats that let you use Summon Monster to make Ofuda, Eye King related feats that let you make Beholder Mages, and more.

                  Overall, I really like this book. Thank for remaking it. I am very proud to have been part of this.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                    Originally posted by blu4lyf View Post
                    I quickly read through the start of the book, but here are my recommendations of things that I've identified so far that you might want to fix.

                    First sentence of second paragraph in the "INTRODUCTION" is missing the word "a" between the words "be" and "fun".

                    Last sentence of the second paragraph in the "INTRODUCTION" is missing the word "is" between the words "it" and "just".

                    Second sentence of the third paragraph in the "INTRODUCTION" is missing the word "a" between the word "having" and "demon".

                    The last sentence of the last paragraph in the "BONUSES AND PENALTIES" could stand some clarity. Particularly the double negative confusion in the sentence.

                    Second sentence of the first paragraph in the "TEMPLATE MODIFICATION NAME" is missing the word "of" between the words "section" and "the". Additionally, a space appears to be missing at the end of this sentence.

                    Last sentence of the first paragraph in the "TEMPLATE MODIFICATION NAME" could stand some clarity.

                    Second sentence of the second paragraph in the "TEMPLATE TYPE", the first appearance of the word "template" should probably be pluralized. Additionally, shouldn't the phrase "...be blessed..." actually be "...been blessed..." in this sentence?

                    Last sentence of the second paragraph in the "TEMPLATE TYPE", the parenthetical portion of the sentence appears to be missing a word, though I am uncertain if it should be "which" or "that".

                    First sentence of the fifth paragraph in the "TEMPLATE TYPE", the first appearance of the word "template" should probably be pluralized.

                    Last sentence of the fifth paragraph in the "TEMPLATE TYPE" reads poorly and could probably stand to be clarified.

                    Last sentence of the only paragraph in the "CHALLENGE RATING" doubles the word "the" and separates them with a comma.

                    Only sentence of the only paragraph in the "DEFENSIVE ABILITIES/DR/IMMUNE/RESIST/SR" follows the word "including" with the word "includes".

                    Second sentence in the second paragraph in the "REPLACED TEMPLATES" there is an unnecessary repetition of the words "of the".

                    Time for me to go to bed now, so I'll read more tomorrow and post anything else that I find. My impression so far is "This is going to be one of my favorite books!"
                    Argh!!! Just goes to show you, editing is a never ending process. Thanks for the notes.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                      Another thing I just realized: The Daemon host template is basically the thing from Pet Semetary isn't it?

                      Considering how messed up the Daemons are, that wouldn't surprise me.
                      [URL="http://crinos.dreamwidth.org/"]Urge to Stat Rising[/URL]: My blog where I post write ups for monsters for the Pathfinder system.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                        Acid Creature
                        Acid creatures can be found anywhere large concentrations of acid or in highly polluted environments exist.
                        Seems this should be
                        Acid creatures can be found anywhere large concentrations of acid exist or in highly polluted environments.
                        or
                        Acid creatures can be found anywhere large concentrations of acid or highly polluted environments exist.

                        The paragraph after that is missing a period.

                        Hit Dice is also missing a period.

                        Acid Pool - the size description seems a bit odd. If it is a pool for a medium creature does it extend 5' all around them, thus being a 15' square with the creature in the middle? The seems correct but a bit at odds with saying the size of the pool is the same as the creatures space.
                        Perhaps just having the parenthetical would be clearer.

                        Need to get some rest - will have to read more later.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                          Hi, all!

                          For 'Ofuda Creature' (pg. 216), under Hit Points: missing an "and" between 'substance' and 'receives'. Also, the description of the sample ofuda doesn't seem to make sense: "An intricately construct of a large hound made folded paper"?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                            Originally posted by Crinos View Post
                            Another thing I just realized: The Daemon host template is basically the thing from Pet Semetary isn't it?

                            Considering how messed up the Daemons are, that wouldn't surprise me.
                            Actually Pet Semetary never occurred to me. The idea actually started with the sample creature (a variant on this NPC is in my game) and then I tried to logically expand it to the rest of the daemons. Plus the idea of a "soul parasite" appeals to the evil GM in me.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Advanced Bestiary Feedback Thread

                              Page 168: "If any Herald lacks a Herald for 5 consecutive rounds, all the Herald essences leave their hosts." I guess it should mean "If any Herald lacks a host [...]".

                              Comment

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